Sex Ed and you

I'm a huge fan of medically accurate, comprehensive sex education in schools. I've lobbied for passage of legislation here in Washington that requires the Public Schools, if sex ed is to be taught, to teach it well and in accordance with curriculum guidelines crafted by the Department of Health and the State Superintendent of Public Instruction. NARAL ProChoice Washington has them posted.

Unfortunately there is no funding for this mandate, and so an organization called the Healthy Youth Alliance has been formed to help. The Healthy Youth Alliance represents a broad coalition of parents, teachers, youth advocates, health professionals, and state agencies. The coalition, includes: the WA State Department of Health; the WA State Medical Association; the Association of Washington School Principals, the Washington Association of Local Public Health Officials, the WA State Parent Teacher Association; the American Academy of Pediatrics, WA Chapter; the School Nurse Organization of WA; American Civil Liberties Union of Washington (ACLU); the Governor's Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS, Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice Washington, the Northwest Women's Law Center and the Safe Schools Coalition.

The Healthy Youth Alliance is a statewide coalition working to increase the number of youth in Washington who receive effective, researched sexual health programs with the ultimate goal of decreasing the rates of STDs, HIV, unintended pregnancy, bullying and dating violence. They offer teachers and school administrators training and resources that ensure students receive accurate, research-based sexual health information.

I'm working now to create a fund raiser to help in this work. I'd love help, so if anyone out there is inspired, drop me a line.

Blessings!

Domestic Partner Registration - Washington

If you are residents of the State of Washington, are an unmarried same sex couple or an unmarried couple one member of which is 62 or over, you can begin registering your Domestic Partnership with the State on July 23, 2007. The Office of the Secretary of State, Corporations Division will begin accepting registrations on Monday July 23, 2007; the first business day after the law becomes effective. Follow this link for more information.

A brochure is available from Equal Rights Washington that outlines your rights and benefits under the new Domestic Partnership law. It also points out several situations where registering might be inadvisable.

Most importantly, this new law does not provide legal status outside of Washington State at this time.

...registered domestic
partners still need wills, powers of
attorney, second-parent adoptions
and other legal planning. You should
consult an attorney about your needs.

This is a big step, but on a long road.

True Stories

I'm angry and sad. There are (plenty of) dark corners of the United States where, despite the clear intention of consenting partners, parents are forced to endure separation, death and loss alone, children are denied legal benefits by a system that purports to protect "family values," and so-called "morality" is held above human decency.

It seems Florida hospitals are free to ignore the legally expressed desires and intent of anyone they wish. This story from the Olympian illustrates the effect of institutionalized hatred and fear.

A family from nearby Lacey, Washington was recently forced to endure the death of one parent without the ability to be present, comfort her and say goodbye. Worse yet, a parent was forced to die alone and separated from her partner and her children. This despite having taken the steps required to express the legal intentions of the parents. I am crushed thinking of the children of this couple. I am saddened imagining the fear, confusion and agony that this parent must have felt separated from her partner of 18 years as she died.

This is twisted and sick. It is proof of a systemic hatred that pervades the institutional culture in this country. It is the embodiment of fear, ignorance and self-loathing that is perpetuated by people who are out of touch with basic human needs.

Please, readers, do not let this stop you from preparing proper legal expressions of your intent. Carry notarized originals in your travel documents. Have an attorney or advocate who can support you if needed.

40 Years of Marriage

Did you know that interracial marriage has only been legal in the United States (as a whole) for 40 years?

June 12, 2007 marks the 40th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court decision in Loving v. Virginia on June 12, 1967 which struck down the remaining interracial marriage bans in 16 states in the United States, ending race discrimination in marriage.

Click here to read the Loving v. Virginia decision.

See the Freedom to Marry website for details.

It's easy to think that things have always been this way, that today's struggles are based on age-old principles, but the reality is that much of what can be taken for grated as civil rights in this country have only been recognized for a few decades.

Yay Goddess of Java!!

She scooped me on this but it's right on point. Everyone needs to get their ducks in a row.

People who intentionally live outside of the default legal structure have an added responsibility to deal with their lives. I call it "Life Planning," and it consists of taking control of the direction of your life, even when that direction isn't nice to think about.

Death is certain, and if you think that society is brutal when you are living outside the box, think hard about what could happen if you die outside of it. Think of your parters and loved ones, your kids, those cool causes that you might want to support.

Did you know that in most states, if you die without a will, anyone can apply to administer your estate? In Washington, potential heirs and estate creditors get priority as personal representatives, that means if you are "single" your parents or the bank that you owe money to might have priority over your life-partner in distributing the assets you hold. Is that what you intend? If you have a minor child from a previous marriage, your child likely gets a big chunk of your estate, which would effectively be controlled by your X. Sound good to you?

My point is this, get over not wanting to plan. Live your own life and control your assets. Get some basic protection in place. See a lawyer or do some research and find out what you can do. Stop putting it off and just do it before the big, bad gummint does it for you.

A Real Blog!

I was told by a friend that "it's only a real blog if you post like once a week." Here goes then.

I'm tired this week, finished up some cases and have a hearing tomorrow to prepare for. I'm trying to think how I can market better too. I need to reach out and (horror) get to know more people. I'm fairly new to Seattle and any suggestions would be welcome!

My friend Sierra Faye the Massage Freek sponsors a happy hour through Biznik and I missed it last Monday. I was in Vancouver BC and didn't get back into town until nearly midnight. I hate missing the event because it's specifically tailored to alternative and kink-friendly businesses.

Abortion banned in my lifetime ...?

I was born when abortion was illegal, and was a toddler when Roe v. Wade changed the national landscape for reproductive freedom. These freedoms, which many take for granted, have been under continuous assault in the United States, and the current President is closer than many people realize to eliminating availability of safe, legal abortion in this country.

NARAL has been a watchdog for reproductive freedom and they get my time and money to support their efforts. Their comment on the recent Supreme Court decision follows:

On April 18, 2007, the Supreme Court handed down its decision to uphold the Federal Abortion Ban in Gonzales v. Carhart and Gonzales v. Planned Parenthood. This decision shows Bush's appointees have moved the Court in a direction that could further undermine Roe v. Wade and protections for women's health. The door is now open for politicians like George W. Bush to interfere even more in our personal, private medical decisions. The Court has given anti-choice state lawmakers the green light to open the flood gates and launch additional attacks on safe, legal abortion, without any regard for women's health. Click here to learn more.

Fifteen states currently have laws on the books restricting abortion. Fortunately none of these laws are enforceable because of Roe v. Wade.

State legislatures across the country continue to introduce new total bans to challenge Roe in the courts, and the majority of state legislatures and Congress have passed unconstitutional laws that would ban safe and medically appropriate abortion care as early as the 12th week in pregnancy.

In 2006, 14 states, including South Dakota, Louisiana, and Ohio, considered statewide abortion bans.

Think hard before you assume this can't happen in the U.S.A. It is happening and will happen unless we take steps to guard ourselves and our daughters' rights. Call NARAL or Planned Parenthood today. Donate time and money. It's time to fight now.

Banking Blues

Lately I've encountered stories of sex-negativity on a level that I had not previously contemplated. I knew that it is incredibly difficult to find space to lease for an "Adult" business, but I did not know that it was difficult to process the money made in one! Kripes! Money is money folks and legitimate businesses earning fairly good profits should be able to - for example - process transactions and deposit money...

Here's the scoop, I spoke to one of the owners of an adult business who shared the experience of walking into a Washington Mutual Bank with a really big check, like kilobucks for startup funding, and was told "sorry but we won't open accounts for adult businesses." What the heck is that about? Apparently Washington Mutual even has a list of business types that they will not serve. The account manager was even compelled to call the next day to reiterate that they did not want "that type" of business. Talk about being jerks...

Mind you I patronize this adult business and it's classy, sassy and a very professionally run place. The owners put thought, planning and hard earned cash into creating a boutique feel that is welcoming and very positive. These people are making money the old fashioned way by putting quality products in a tasteful setting that attracts a broad spectrum of customers.

Part two...

You all know about the Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF) I presume. If you saw this year's adverts, they featured a beautiful photo of a nude posed discretely, no dangly bits or anything exposed. What you don't know is that the artistic staff at SEAF had a nearly impossible time getting the darned things printed!!!

This is Seattle by golly, not flipping Salt Lake! What if the Seattle Art Museum wanted to do a show featuring artists such as Francisco Goya, Edouard Manet, or heavens forbid, August Rodin! I'm guessing that since these artists are famous...no problem. Nevertheless they produced some might sexy imagery.

I'll continue to follow this and other stories. I'm aware that the predominant societal attitude concerning sex is negative, but I surround myself with people that are open and attuned to the power and beauty of positive sexual experiences. It's easy to become complacent and forget.

I'm looking for a new bank.

Why "Sex Positive?"

Here's a definition of sex positive from Wikipedia. It's on the side bar as well here. That definition is just a definition; it's not a human facing issues and realities. It's not your friend or lover or brother or sister facing loss of contact with a child, facing exclusion from the estate of a partner, facing financial or physical danger while subjected to negative pressure regarding a fundamental and essential component of themselves.

Sex positive to me is a possibility of examining life without judgment based on sexuality. Facing the power and joy, the fear and hurt that are always a presence in life without any artificial shame regarding one's self and identity.

It's important to me because I recognize that sexuality is often judged and forms a barrier between professionals of all stripes and their clients. It's important because decisions and judgments are made every day based on fear and misinformation. It's important because of stigma and shame. It's essential to be able to seek help resolving the hard parts of life without needing to hold back in fear of being judged.

Life Planning for all of us!

How can sex positive families and individuals cope with an often hostile legal system? People who embrace their sexuality openly often face complex and nearly impossible challenges to their legal problems, whether it's providing for the love and care of a legally unrelated partner or child, dealing with the acquisition of property and community assets or establishing that creative and consensual activity between consenting adults is a responsible and loving setting for children.

I've spent the past few months researching and thinking about topics such as these that hit home with a great many of my friends, colleagues and clients. In doing so, I've begun creating tools to examine these challenges and face the issues raised by alternative lifestyles. This blog is to put some of these issues under public scrutiny and see if I'm on the right track. I welcome your comments, suggestions and ideas, even and perhaps especially if you disagree. Off we go!